When You're the Best of Friends

Friends are a funny thing.

Some friends are in your life for a fleeting second.  Others remain for a lifetime.

We start meeting them when we are children.  How many of those children are still your friends now?  How often to we make friends now with the simple abandon we had as children?  Not often, I would wager.

Depending on your life growing up, friendships may have come easy or may have been sporadic.  I've been fortunate to be in a family  that stayed in one place for my formative years.  I've know plenty of others - cousins, childhood friends, a best friend from grade school - that had to move around because of being a part of a military family or a parent got transferred for a job.

I can only imagine how things panned out for them.  How hard it was to leave old friends behind to make new friends in a new home.  My cousins were military and moved overseas.  I'm sure there were other American and/or English speaking kids there, but that's got to be hard.

My only taste of anything closely resembling that was switching to a different high school outside of my community.  I wasn't happy to do it.  I didn't want to leave my friends.  But I grew up in a small community.  A lot of the kids I would hang out with went to my church.  I still got to see my best friend once a week, as he would join us every Sunday.  Even then, though.  Schedules get more complicated, lives get busier, people drift apart...

I guess that's where my stance on friendly relationships started to grow.  Part of this may be due to being an introvert; the social aspect certainly fits.  I'm not necessarily proud of it, but my mind doesn't wrap any other way around it.

I'm slow to make friends unless we are together in a like situation for a while.  If you come over to visit and I don't know you, chances are I am not going to be very social.  I'll be watching and listening and speaking when spoken to, but until I find some common ground my lips are sealed.  Now, in a situation like a new school I'm in classes with people and band together.  That's the easiest way for me to make a friend.  Especially in the instance of my high school best friend - we both played trombone and he was going down the line asking if everyone was Catholic (it was a Catholic high school).  I told him I was Lutheran and we were best friends ever since.  As far as we could tell, we were the only two Protestants in the school, though we did find out otherwise later on.

The hard part of a friendship for me is when I move away.  It's difficult for me to keep friends when I don't see them often - out of sight, out of mind.  I've tried.  I had a fantastic circle of friends in high school.  I would occasionally see some of them after we graduated.  When we did hang out together, even years after, we would fall right back into the groove of things.  Normally, though, I just move on.  It seems callous, even to my ears.  To my mind, it's just the natural order of things.

I've only really discovered the joys of social media recently.  It's now easy to find people with similar interests.  We may not be true friends in the sense of the word, but we are friends of sorts.  Even if we are just playing the same game.

You get to know these people, looking at their postings and pictures.  Maybe we don't get to know the true person behind the profile, but we do find out who shares our interests.

And these random strangers aren't the only ones I get to keep in touch with.  My friends that I grew up with and went to school with and met on my path are all here within typing reach.  It's fantastic to see what all of my people are up to twenty years later!

I love seeing what their families are like.  I can send encouragement and good wishes on an accomplishment or anniversary.  Just today, I found out a friend from Middle School now lives within blocks of my Grandmother's old house!  It just fills me with joy.

I know it's not the same thing as having a full conversation on the phone or by text, but I do enjoy keeping in touch with my old friends.

Moreover, I've been able to make a whole new set of friends.  There are those I play games with and there are those who get a "good morning" like on a comment or picture.  Finally there are those that actually send messages and look out for each other.  These are the ones I like best.

Sometimes I wonder why I make a posting or comment on a picture.  Will people appreciate it like I do?  Most times, I'll never know.  A like or comment can speak a million words.  Those that I do see responding can be counted in my closest online friends and I hope that my likes and comments are taken as evidence of that.  I may not say much in the cybersphere, but those words I utter are true.

My husband and I have a philosophy that we've grown to share.  It works for us because we are both adopted.  Our families chose us in adoption because they wanted us.  We are making our family the same way.  We choose our family - those we want to be around.  Our family consists of those closest friends that we care about the most.

Of all of my friends out there in cyberspace, know that you are cared for because you touch my life in even the smallest of ways.  Be you family or Family or even a casual friend, thank you.

When you're the best of friends
Having so much fun together
You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair
You're the best of friends

Life's a happy game
You could clown around forever
Neither one of you sees, your natural boundaries
Life's one happy game

If only the world wouldn't get in the way
If only people would just let you play
They say you're both being fools
You're breaking all the rules
They can't understand, the magic of your wonderland
Hu-hu-hu

When you're the best of friends
Sharing all that you discover
When that moment has past, will that friendship last?
Who can say? There's a way!
Oh I hope... I hope it never ends
'Cause you're the best of friends

~ When You're the Best of Friends

    Disney's The Fox and the Hound

Windstorm of the Mind

Windstorm of the Mind
by Mark Rybka-Wachhaus


Darkness swirling
Endless clouds
Winds twisting
Grasping on
Dust flying
Trees bending
Leaves gusting
Lakes distend
Sweeping
Churning
Tornados fly

Words struggle from
within my grasp
taken by the
winds tugging
ideas from a
blank slate.

If you have enjoyed this poem, you are more than welcome to share it.  I only ask for the proper recognition as its author.

Looking for Hope in a One-Way Mirror

Looking for Hope
in a One-Way Mirror
by Mark Rybka-Wachhaus


I've flown the coop and taken freedom,
while mama bird pushes you down.
You flap with determined independence
back to the breaking sticks
of a fallen nest.

Fly baby bird to freedom.

The master points.
The dog slinks to his feet,
tail wagging feebly between
his legs for another
kick in the shank.

No need to lick the boot again.

I've seen the towers tumble.
I've watched the castle fall.
You stand beside me looking longingly
at the glittering city
still standing in your eyes.

The ravens fly over shattered dreams.

I am beside you,
loving beside you,
watching you
look for hope
In a one-way mirror.

If you have enjoyed this poem, you are more than welcome to share it.  I only ask for the proper recognition as its author.

A Salute

Right, so the big complaints going around are about a) the free U2 album that went out and was on the new iPhones and whose attention was quickly replaced by b) President Obama saluting with a coffee cup.  I had my own opinion to express about this.  Some of you have probably seen it already - it's be liked by a few of you, but I'll post it again here:

"Are people's lives really so petty and boring that all they can do is rant about free music and whether or not the president can salute with a coffee cup? For some reason, I thought there were bigger, more important things in our world to worry about like war, homelessness and hunger. Even the potholes in our roads are more important than this. Delete the music if you don't want it. And he saluted - he could have just gotten off the plane without acknowledging anyone. Find something important to bitch about, people!"

I said my peace.  Then I came across the following posting shared by a friend.  This guy couldn't have said it any better!  Please note that there was a remark in the comments by the author of this essay that anything he posts may be shared.  So here's to sharing!

"America has become the land of the perpetually offended. We are the forever outraged, we Americans.
It's a bullshit first world problem that afflicts those who face no real difficulty in their day to day lives.No difficulty? What's that you say? Yeah, listen, when you have to lug the day's water four miles from the nearest river on top of your head, get back to me.
This outrage, it's a disease common to those who have enough to eat and a warm place to sleep and endless access to cheap goods and more TV channels than they could view even if they did nothing else. Yesterday, I stood in line behind an angry disaffected hipster at the coffee shop who spent ten minutes ordering a pumpkin spice chai tea latte with various ingredients, a drink that totalled - and I shit you not - $14.98. He held the line up for twenty minutes with his bullshit. Fifteen dollars for a cup of tea. Fifteen dollars for a cup of tea, folks. Twenty minutes of screwing around, and the pretentious little prick STILL wasn't happy. And we all had to listen to him complain to the barista about his goddamned tea. I wanted to snatch him up by his nasty little goatee and smash his fucking head on the counter.
That's what America has become, right there, a bunch of privileged snots mad because our chai tea latte isn't hot enough.
We're outraged all of the time because we've got nothing better to do than be outraged all the damned time.
Listen to me, when the worst thing that happened to you today is that the president waved at a Marine with a cup of coffee in his hand, when THAT's what you've got to be offended by, then you really don't have any actual problems. You're just being an asshole.
It's a symptom of the larger disease.
When the only thing you've got to be upset about is that two gay people want to get married, if that's what offends you, you're just being an asshole.
When the only thing you've got to be pissed off about is that other people worship a different god from yours, or go to a different church, or don't believe in gods at all, then you're just being an asshole.
When you're outraged at the idea that some woman somewhere is getting an abortion, but meanwhile the thought of millions of children starving to death, or dying of preventable and treatable diseases, of suffering from poverty and neglect, or dying under the fall of our bombs doesn't bother you, you're just being an asshole.
When the only thing you've got to be outraged by is that you feel you're being persecuted for your religious beliefs, or your race, or your gender, or your sexual orientation even though you're a member of the overwhelming majority and you provably benefit from that fact every single day, then you're just being an asshole.
When the worst thing in your day is that we're not at war enough, that we aren't bombing or invading or killing enough, if that's your beef, then you are an asshole.
Other countries? Other places in the world? Their leaders are chopping off heads. Literally chopping off heads. Chopping off hands. Murdering. Raping. They're gunning people down in the streets. They're invading their neighbors. People are starving to death and they've got no choice but to drink out of the same river they shit in.
America? We're outraged that the president waved at a Marine with a cup of coffee in his hand.
THAT's what WE've got to be upset about.
_________________
Addendum:
Folks, let me clue you in on something: BY CONSTITUTIONAL DEFINITION, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS A CIVILIAN.
He shouldn't be saluting at all.
Reagan started this idiotic bullshit, no president before him raised a salute, not even Eisenhower.
The president is a civilian. There is no law, statute, regulation, or US Code that requires him to salute. Period. Nor should he. And in point of fact, the people who set up this country SPECIFICALLY didn't want the president to be a member of the military - which is why we put civilians in charge of it.
The president shouldn't be saluting in the first place. Period. A nod, a verbal acknowledgement to the military folks guarding him is sufficient.
Listen to me carefully: We don't want the president, this one or any other, acting like they are a general. This is the United States of America, and it's long past time for you to remember that.
______________________
Addendum 2:
Folks, something I'd point out to you, the President is left handed, as am I.
The president was descending the steep boarding ladder of Marine 1, very likely he was holding on to the rail with his dominant hand, as would I, i.e. the left one. Out of habit, likely he was holding his coffee in his right, as would I. Both without thinking about it - because, and I'm guessing here, the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES just might have other things on his mind than which hand to hold his coffee cup in.
This exact thing happened to me, as a military officer, more than once. Holding my coffee cup, moving through the ship, step out on the deck, and get saluted and have to switch hands or nod or just plain fuck it up and salute with my cup. Because, you know, we're all human. Some of us are left handed humans operating in a right handed world.
Again, if this is what you have to be outraged by, you're an asshole and I don't care which hand you're using."

-Posted by John Wright on Facebook

To those that just don't understand, get an education.  There are more important things in this world to be outraged by.  Mr. Wright has made some very valid points and has educated me on some facts I did not know, even though I had no problem with what happened.  

Personally, I would have just raised my cup.  Here's to you Mr. Wright and Mr. President. 

Samhain, Allhallowstide and Halloween.

Ahhhh...

Fall.  The Autumnal Equinox.  The second of the two days of the year when the time of light equals the time of darkness.  One of my favorite times of year.

It's my second favorite as toward weather.  Spring is my first - I love watching the snow melt away and the days warm while various colorful flora push up through the topsoil.

Fall is the perfect contrast.  The yearly miracle of the leaves changing golden always leaves me in awe.  When I get to see it.  It never lasts long enough.  One day, they are green and the next finds them crunching underfoot beneath the bare skeletal trees that bore them.

On the other hand, the air grows crisp and carries distant memories of marching bands and band competitions.  Sure it brings football - I went to every game in high school because I was in the band.  Fall brings us together for a Halloween parade or cuddled under a blanket on a cool night with a movie.

Contrariwise, Fall becomes my first favorite season when it comes to holidays.  Spring is nice, but doesn't bring big celebrations.  We don't have children to enjoy a good Easter egg hunt.  I don't drink anymore, so St. Patrick's day is only good for wearing green.  Mother's Day warrants a call to Mom and a day with my husband, the mother of the house.  That's the largest celebration I can come up with.

Fall is the beginning of a season of holidays!  October ends with Halloween, encouraging a whole month of horror movies and candy culminating with disguised munchkins begging at the door.  November ends with Thanksgiving and family gathering with friends.  It also begins the largest shopping season of the year with the coming of Christmas.  I'm not crazy about the coming snows, but Autumn signals the coming of the red and green.

It's a season of fun, love and excitement.  So why does society start going to war with each other???

I've seen it start already.  Some local stores are carrying Halloween candy and costumes side by side with Christmas decorations and trees.  The holidays themselves are so filled with love that the infighting and grumbling throughout the season is uncalledfor and unwarranted.

This is partially due to the fact that our holidays are being turned into what I call Hallmark Holidays.  It becomes more important to spend money on the candy, the costumes, the decorations and the gifts than the actual celebration of the holidays involved.  The stress becomes so unbearable that the loved ones involved are loathed.  In my own case, twenty years of retail work soured my mood so much that I started preferring the parody carols to those proclaiming the true holiday spirit.  It's not so now, but for a very long time, Christmas and Thanksgiving were just two guaranteed days off that I happened to be able to spend with family.

We have forgotten where our holidays have gone and why they bring us such happiness.  We get so lost in spending our money that our joy is spent instead.

Tonight, I'll talk about where Halloween comes from.  I think it is important because I've seen the following posting as well as others like it in the past.  I also understand that there are those who drop similar pamphlets into children's Trick or Treat bags instead of candy!

Before even getting to the holiday, I should remind people that cartoons, TV and movies and Harry Potter are all fiction.  Fantasy.  Products to exercise our imagination.  Essentially, this person is saying that we need to occult our children from their imaginations with the Gospel instead understanding the true meaning of the holiday as it pertains to them and their beliefs.

In addition, people need to realize that while the occult pertains to "supernatural, mystical, or magical beliefs, practices, or phenomena",which is by no means Satanic unless put to use for that intended purpose.  That is where occult education should be focused - in the belief of good verses evil.

As for our holiday in question...

Our current customs are thought to have come from the Celtic-speaking countries.  Some of the customs are pagan (again, not to be confused with Satanic) and Celtic Christianity.  Some historians have been able to track the origins of Halloween back to the celebration of the Roman feast of Pomona, the goddess of fruits and seeds, or the feast of the dead called Parentalia.

Most commonly, the origins are thought to come from the Celtic festival of Samhain.  This was an important celebratory day in the medieval Gaelic calendar usually celebrated around October 31 - November 1.  Samhain and the Brittonic Celt celebration of Calan Gaeaf are still the Gaelic and Welsh names for Halloween today.

These holidays symbolize the end of the harvest season and the coming of the dark season of winter.  Many believed that the old gods would come to visit, even after the introduction of God and Christianity.  Offerings of food, drink and crop portions would be left out to appease them.  Many also believed that the souls of the dead would visit their homes from their living years.  Families would set a place at the dining table for their ancestors to join them and be honored.

Nuts and apples were often used in rituals.  Many times, bonfires would be lit mimicking the sun holding back the death and decay of the coming dark times and to scare away evil spirits.

Going back as far as the 1500's, people would disguise themselves and go house to house singing and reciting verse in exchange for food.  In Scotland, children would paint their faces mimicking the old gods and returned dead souls and would threaten mischief if they weren't welcomed.  Many similar practices have appeared throughout Europe.

In the 19th century, pranksters would carry around  hollowed out turnips with candles as lanterns.  This practice spread to England in the 20th century with pumpkins, now known as Jack o' Lanterns.

Does any of this sound familiar?

And now back to our misinformed Christian...

In the Christian liturgical calendar, All Hallow's Day, also known as All Saint's Day, was introduced in the year 609 AD and was celebrated on May 13 as part of a triumverate of holidays called Allhallowstide.  This celebration includes All Hallows Eve (Halloween), All Hallow's Day and All Souls' Day.  It wasn't until 835 AD that All Saint's was moved to November 1, making the celebration of Allhallowstide coincide with Samhain.  It has been suggested that the reason for the move was for the safety of the the pilgrims visiting Rome for the celebration.  Summer in Rome at that time was rampant with disease that would kill many of the visiting celebrants.

The celebration of Allhallowstide included displaying relics of the saints.  Those that could not afford such relics or mementos would instead dress as the saints.  Again, it was believed that the souls of the dead would wander the earth until All Hallow's Day.  All Hallow's Eve was their last chance to exact revenge on their enemies.

Some Christian cultures would light bonfires to guide spirits away from haunting "honest Christian folk".  Others in Austria, England and Ireland would light candles called "soul lights" in the windows of their houses to guide souls back to visit their earthly home.  Many Continental Europeans believed that the dead of the churchyards would rise once a year for gastly party known as the danse macabre.  This was reenacted by children as far back as the 16th century which could be considered the predecessor to modern day costume parties.  Again, similar practices and rituals have been practiced in different cultures to this day.

Anglican colonists in the South and Catholic colonists in Maryland began recognizing All Hallow's Eve in North America.  Puritans in the North refused to recognize it as they did with other celebrations of the Catholic church, such as Christmas.  The celebration of Halloween was spread mainly by the Irish and Scottish immigrants and is now recognized across North America to this day.

And what about our trick-or-treaters who need to be informed of the Gospel and the power of God?  In Christian tradition, All Hallow's Eve, a.k.a Halloween, "focuses on the theme of using humor and ridicule to confront the power of death".

So, dressing as saints, imitating the old gods, honoring the spirits of our ancestors, ridiculing death, lighting bonfires to mislead evil spirits, lighting candles (and putting them in Jack o' Lanterns) to guide spirits home.  That's Samhain celebrated by Celtic cultures.  That's also the Christian holiday that was moved to overlap Samhain.  That's on the liturgical calendar also.  This is the history of Halloween.  This is celebrated in numerous countries across the world with similar traditions from differing backgrounds.

To those that believe that Halloween cannot be celebrated because of the witchcraft and wizardry, the fantasy and the fiction:  It's time to refresh yourself in your own liturgical beliefs and remember the true meaning of All Hallow's Eve.

I know it is still early.  There's still a month between.  The shops and stores are selling it now, so

Happy Halloween!

*Information taken from Wikipedia, photos from Google Search. "Misinformed Christian" photo originally posted on Facebook by Joules Duncan

...With 60 More To Come

Well, the anniversary weekend has come to an end. It has been a good one!

After a nice lunch at Red Lobster with Jon on Friday, I got to spend a little time by myself that evening with wings and a horror movie - my favorite combo.

Saturday found us with a yard sale and a day with friends.  The evening continued with dinner at Hanami Japanese Restaurant in College Park - one of our favorites for sushi!  The final touch was with my husband and myself watching TV, eating carrot mini-cakes, with the cat and dog curled around us.

Today was probably the best of the weekend.  We had a much needed day alone.  Did the dishes (me), cleaned the carpets and laundry (him and I folded), took an afternoon nap, watched TV with the four-legged kids and Little Caesars.  He's off to bed for work tomorrow.

Doesn't sound exciting?

You don't always need exciting to have great day.  Sometimes doing chores with the one you love is all you need.  No matter what it is, we have fun just doing whatever together.    I think this is also why we are so good together - we were just meant to be.

I think there was some destiny at play to bring us together.

Jon and I are a perfect pair.  Though we have a few differences, we also share a lot of loves.  We've also encouraged each other to gain an interest in new things through the years.

We both grew up on different sides of the US.  He grew up in Northern California and I in South Central Pennsylvania.  Both of our families believed in giving us a good upbringing and education.

Oh, and we were both adopted.  He was adopted as a baby.  I was fostered into my family as a baby and adopted when I was five.  We both have an older sibling - me a brother and him a sister.  Both siblings have good marriages and wonderful intelligent children.  Between us, we have three nieces and two nephews.

Both sets of our parents are well-educated and long-married.  Both got married on the same day.  And the same year.  Within hours of each other.

Jon took a road trip across the states with his best friend to live on the East Coast and clean up.  I almost took a road trip to California with one of my best friends from high school - we were going to sell everything and move out there.  He did it.  Something held me back.

Yeah, people can share hobbies and interests.  You can love and hate the same things.  But unless you take the time to learn to like new things, I think that would be boring.

I'd rather stick with opposites attracting.  There's more excitement that way.  There's more fun in learning to like (or dislike) something your partner loves.  There's something to be said about being able to support a passion that may not always be up your alley.  Where's the spark if you can't debate opposite sides of a subject?

I don't think these two opposite poles of the magnet would have come together without a little kick from the Fates.  For all of our mutual loves, we love our differences the best!  I thank Destiny for bringing us together

So after nine years together and six of those married...  Here's to another 60 (or more!) years.

Salut!

...And Speaking of Anniversaries

Two days ago was my brother and sister's wedding anniversary.  Today is mine!

Six years ago, I married my husband, Jon in Sacramento, California.

Now, six years ago gay marriage wasn't up for discussion in most states.  Massachusetts and California were the only two states at the time that would allow it.  California was in process of deciding Proposition 8, which would ban gay marriage but not domestic partnership.  There's been quite a leap forward over the last six years as same-sex marriage licenses can be issued now in nineteen states, the District of Columbia and ten Native American tribal jurisdictions.*


Since we were headed out to California to visit Jon's family, my proposal was very simple and romantic as only I can be:

Me: So, do ya wanna?

Jon: Get married while we're in California?

Me:  Yeah.

Jon:  Sure.  You're so romantic.

We started planning the trip a couple months ahead.   The idea was we would have a quick, private ceremony at a nice romantic location, then announce what we did when we got back to the house.  Jon did his usual research on the computer, getting input from me one he found a few selections.  We decided on a clearing overlooking Lake Tahoe.  We also found several options for rings and settled on a very simple but elegant pattern.

Shortly after we had started making our decisions, Jon had a call from his mother.  They got to talking about the upcoming trip.  He told her we were planning a trip out to Tahoe.  When asked if we wanted them to come along, he told her that they didn't need to as they always had a chance to go there and we didn't.  We were just going to go the casino, have lunch and gamble a little bit.

It was definitely a gamble to tell her that.

About twenty minutes after they got off the phone, Jon's mother called back.  She told him she had been talking with his father and they thought he was holding something back.  She directly asked if we were getting married while we were out there.  Parents have a way of seeing things that are held back.  After telling her we were, she hung up.

Shortly after, we got a call back.  Jon's mother told him she had been talking with his father again.  They didn't know why we would get married in secret and not include the family.  She told him they would order a cake, we could use the backyard and they had invited his sister's family and his aunt so we could all celebrate together.  Our only responsibility was to show up and find an officiant.

We kept up with our end of the bargain.  We got matching outfits for the big event and made our flight out to Sacramento.

On September 20, 2008, Jon and I were married in the backyard of his parents' house in the presence of his family and officiated by Theresa Sutton.  Theresa's family was also present to photograph and video the ceremony.

It was a beautiful California day.  Jon and I both had our version of wedding day jitters.  We originally had ties for our outfits, but Jon was feeling constrained by his.  We decided against them.  A good thing, too, as one of us probably would have caught our tie on fire with the candle.

As for myself, I don't read aloud very well.  We had decided on our own vows and the script was written out to make things easier.  While most of the ceremony itself was a blur, I do remember the vows centered around our rings symbolizing the circles of our lives.  Our different circles would be combining as our lives were combining.  I stumbled while reading.  At the wrong words.  I was talking about the circle of art, but sort of ran them together.  Yep, the circle o' fart.  I am such a romantic!

We exchanged our vows and our rings and a kiss and were officially married.  Our nieces made wonderful flower girls.  We got to be in the presence of family.  I was a little upset my own family couldn't make it, but it was for good reason.  My parents are closer to us than we are to Jon's, so they get to see us more often.

Thank you Theresa and her family for a wonderful ceremony.  It was an honor to have her officiate our wedding.  To have our own family present was a blessing.  And thank you to my husband for being such a wonderful man and a major part of my life.  Without him, this day would have never happened.

Happy 6th Anniversary, Jon.  Here's to many more!

*Statistics from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_in_the_United_States

20 Years After Eve Gave Him the Apple

This story really starts almost 40 years ago when a colicky baby was fostered by a young family in Central Pennsylvania.

I was that baby, given to a foster family at the beginning of July in 1975.  That's when I met my big brother for the first time.

I didn't know so much at the time.  I just knew I was in pain whenever I ate and it was probably really hard to sleep.  I had only been born a few months before and didn't know who all these new people were.

These people would grow to be my family, my loved ones, my mother, my father and my big brother, Aaron.

I'm told that Aaron was excited to get a baby brother.  He was five at the time and was part of a family that took in foster children.  There were several children that came and went - kids that would be friends for a while and then move on to other families.  I think from the beginning he had a suspicion that I would be the one to stay.

From the beginning, we got along well.  My parents tell me that Aaron would crawl into my crib with me as a baby.  As we got older, we would play together on the farm.  One such scene is immortalized in a mural painted by our grandmother in our parents' greenhouse/sun room.  It's a painting with paper photo appliques of the different animals and the two of us splashing in a mud puddle in the back driveway.

Once Aaron hit middle school and high school, he grew much more independent.  He started discovering girls and hanging out with friends his age.  I wasn't too happy about this in the beginning, though I started to become more independent at that age also.

I would become the annoying younger brother that would try to poke my nose in his business whenever I could.  I can remember one particular time when there was a party at our house.  I can't remember if it was a birthday party or a celebratory after party for one of the plays he was in at school.  What I do remember is following him and a girl he was walking around with outside.  I must not have been happy that he was with this particular girl, because I kept splashing my soda on the back of her legs.  I could be a brat sometimes.

My brother is very intelligent.  He got a great education at a Franciscan private school.  His senior year of high school was spent in Germany.  Higher education found him at Johns Hopkins.

Aaron made a lot of friends at JHU, some life-long.  The best of these was Eve Gurian.

I can remember the first time going to their house in Baltimore.  It was a beautiful brownstone townhouse with cool nooks and crannies all over the place.  I loved visiting - every time, I would meet someone new and exciting.  It could be one of their many friends, Eve's family, any one of the many colorful, sometimes eccentric personalities that have touched our lives.  Little did I know that these people would still be in my life now!

That relationship between Aaron and Eve would grow with their love and lead to their eventual marriage.

September 18, 1994

The plan was to have the wedding in the apple orchards of Adams County, Pennsylvania.  The plans were being made.  Eve's dress was being sewn.  All the preparations were underway.  The one thing we had no control over was the weather.

Fall in Central PA could mean rain or shine.  There was no telling until closer to the wedding date.  My parents insisted on a Plan B in case of bad weather.  This wedding was set to be outside in the orchard - what was Plan B?  Umbrellas from the local funeral home.

It looked like we might need them as the big day got closer.  The night before was the rehearsal dinner.  Family and friends had been arriving from all over the world to celebrate.  Dinner was wonderful, but all I can remember was the thunder and lightning and the rain pounding on the roof of the restaurant.

As it turns out, we only needed the umbrellas to make sure the wedding day was dry and sunny!

Sometime overnight, the storm stopped.  We arrived at the orchard in sun and beautiful weather.  The ground was dry enough and stable enough for everyone to get around easily.  The only hint of the weather the night before was the wind , but it caused no trouble and added to beauty of the day.

As one of the four holders of the chuppah or traditional Jewish wedding canopy, I got to be right up front in all the excitement.  The mingling of two traditions, Jewish and Lutheran, was an interesting process.  The ceremony was a combination of both, mixing readings from both the Bible and the Torah.  Members of both families helped officiate in English and  Hebrew.  It was a very fascinating process, right down to crushing the ceremonial goblet at the end.

Aaron was a handsome groom and Eve a beautiful bride.  I am very proud of my brother for marrying such a wonderful woman.  Eve is one of the most beautiful and intelligent women I have ever met.  They compliment each other in every way.

Whenever our family gets together, there is always talk of some exciting adventure that has happened with them.  I always enjoy hearing stories of what they are doing in their lives, where they've been and who they've met.

The years have been good to my brother and sister.  They have been blessed with three fantastic children who lead spectacular lives.  All three follow in their parents' footsteps to excellence.

Aaron and Eve have raised their children in the Jewish faith.  They've now gone through two Bar Mitzvahs and one Bat Mitzvah.  I am proud to have attended all three - watching my niece and nephews step into adulthood and their faith.

I am very happy to have these wonderful people in my family and my life.  They have helped me when I've been down.  They've given me structure to get me back on my feet.  I may be distant at times, well, most times, but I know they are there for me and my husband and they love us both.

They have both always been encouraging in everything I do in my life.  They've both been very honest and up-front with me.  Aaron and Eve have made me feel more comfortable about myself as a person - from the moment they told me they like me better with men than with women at a time I didn't know myself so well.  There have even been times they have helped me without even knowing.

Aaron.  Eve.  I am proud to call you my brother and sister.  Congratulations on 20 years of marriage.  I am glad to have watched your family grow and to watch the two of you grow deeper in love.  Jon and I strive to follow in your example.  Here's to many more happy years of wedded bliss!

I've included a few pictures from the past 20 years.  I know they will bring back wonderful memories as if they happened yesterday!  I would love to give credit where credit is due, but I don't know all of the photographers.  I'll give it my best shot at the end of the post.

Happy 20th Anniversary to my brother and sister,

Aaron and Eve Wachhaus

Photo credits:  Special thanks to Visions of Honey by Julie Neal, Elaine Gurian, Aaron and Eve Wachhaus.  

Sorry Folks!

Had some minor setbacks this evening while playing with photos.  I'm not sure what I did, but I ended up erasing the photos from the blog.  Luckily, I still have them and will get them back into place between tonight and tomorrow.

I'll be back tomorrow with another story!

See you then!

Just Add Color

Is it just me or does anyone else feel this way:

Whenever I see a photo in black and white it seems surreal.

I'm not sure why I feel this way.  I see a black and white photo and it seems like it is set up.  A staged image.  Something that never really existed.  It reminds me of a still from a silent film or some other old movie.  Y'know, before Technicolor came along and enlightened all our lives.

In our world today, we are so used to seeing everything in High Definition or 3D.  Unless we are looking at some movie or television show that is obviously B-rated, everything looks like we could just reach out and touch it.  It all feels so real sometimes.

Too real, at times.

Living in a society that says bigger is better makes things worse.  The 56" HD TV sitting across from me looks like a window into another world.  Most times, close-ups of the characters I am watching appear the size of a real person.  Anything larger and the show is being acted out right in your living room!

Imagine my thoughts when I came across a posting regarding historical black and white photos shown in color.  I was very curious!

I'll share the link with you:

41 Must See Colorized Historical Photos That Will Give You The Chills by rozin.abbas
*A quick warning: Not all are bad, but there are a few pictures that are a bit disturbing.

This is what hit me the most: Add color to the picture and it brings it right to your front door.

I can understand why some people do not like to watch the news.  With everything in full living color, it's hard to forget that this is all happening now in our world.  As a younger man, I wanted to forget what was going on in my own backyard.  As I get older, I want to know a little bit more.  In some regards, I'm fascinated by it.

Looking at these photos did the same thing for me.  It's not like I didn't know these things actually happened.  I've seen most of these photos before or at least photos like them.  In my mind, they are all pictures and stories out of the history books.  They are staged old-timey photos; little dioramas found in a museum.  They are stories told by my parents and grandparents.  The details are blurred and they happened a long time ago - long before I was ever born.

I had forgotten how long photography has been around.  I should know better - I grew up outside of Gettysburg, PA.  I've been to the Battlefield and the museums.  I've seen the black and white photos of the battle scenes.  They are history.  They are long gone.  It's like they never happened except for the stories and unreal scenes in black and white.

I know the Holocaust happened, though I never wanted to believe it.  I've read some of Mark Twain's writing.  I was taught that Abe Lincoln was the 16th President, was at Gettysburg, was assassinated.

I've seen Lincoln's top hat at the Smithsonian.  It looked like a prop from a movie.  Real, but not necessarily the real thing.  Tom Sawyer is read in almost every school, but Mark Twain has never been interviewed on The Today Show.  He's long gone - a legend never forgotten, but never seen by modern eyes.  I've walked through the Holocaust Museum and, well...

Walking through the Holocaust Museum probably was the most realistic museum experience I've had.  Some of the sights, smells and sounds really brought home that this was not just something out of the history books.  This was definitely something that happened and wasn't just talked about.

But the pictures were still in black and white.  It happened, but a long time ago.  Before my memory; before I was born.

Just add color.

Suddenly, I can see the people as they really were.  Mark Twain could have been sitting in the neighbor's backyard getting his picture taken.  The car accident in DC could have happened on my way to work - in color, the buildings looked awful familiar.  The car was a little old, but it's not the first time I've seen an antique on its way to a Collector's Show.  Lincoln could have been waiting with Obama to get his portrait taken.

The men at the concentration camp could have been family.

Just add color.

Just add color and it is all suddenly real.  Just add color and it all walks up to the front door and knocks.  Just add color and you can hear the fiery explosion as the Hindenburg crashes to the ground.  Just add color and you are there.

So which is better?  Should they be remembered in black and white?

Just add color.