The Mark of the Morningstar: ...And Speaking of Anniversaries

Two days ago was my brother and sister's wedding anniversary. Today is mine!

Six years ago, I married my husband, Jon in Sacramento, California.

Now, six years ago gay marriage wasn't up for discussion in most states. Massachusetts and California were the only two states at the time that would allow it. California was in process of deciding Proposition 8, which would ban gay marriage but not domestic partnership. There's been quite a leap forward over the last six years as same-sex marriage licenses can be issued now in nineteen states, the District of Columbia and ten Native American tribal jurisdictions.*

Since we were headed out to California to visit Jon's family, my proposal was very simple and romantic as only I can be:

Me: So, do ya wanna?

Jon: Get married while we're in California?

Me: Yeah.

Jon: Sure. You're so romantic.

We started planning the trip a couple months ahead. The idea was we would have a quick, private ceremony at a nice romantic location, then announce what we did when we got back to the house. Jon did his usual research on the computer, getting input from me one he found a few selections. We decided on a clearing overlooking Lake Tahoe. We also found several options for rings and settled on a very simple but elegant pattern.

Shortly after we had started making our decisions, Jon had a call from his mother. They got to talking about the upcoming trip. He told her we were planning a trip out to Tahoe. When asked if we wanted them to come along, he told her that they didn't need to as they always had a chance to go there and we didn't. We were just going to go the casino, have lunch and gamble a little bit.

It was definitely a gamble to tell her that.

About twenty minutes after they got off the phone, Jon's mother called back. She told him she had been talking with his father and they thought he was holding something back. She directly asked if we were getting married while we were out there. Parents have a way of seeing things that are held back. After telling her we were, she hung up.

Shortly after, we got a call back. Jon's mother told him she had been talking with his father again. They didn't know why we would get married in secret and not include the family. She told him they would order a cake, we could use the backyard and they had invited his sister's family and his aunt so we could all celebrate together. Our only responsibility was to show up and find an officiant.

We kept up with our end of the bargain. We got matching outfits for the big event and made our flight out to Sacramento.

On September 20, 2008, Jon and I were married in the backyard of his parents' house in the presence of his family and officiated by Theresa Sutton. Theresa's family was also present to photograph and video the ceremony.

It was a beautiful California day. Jon and I both had our version of wedding day jitters. We originally had ties for our outfits, but Jon was feeling constrained by his. We decided against them. A good thing, too, as one of us probably would have caught our tie on fire with the candle.

As for myself, I don't read aloud very well. We had decided on our own vows and the script was written out to make things easier. While most of the ceremony itself was a blur, I do remember the vows centered around our rings symbolizing the circles of our lives. Our different circles would be combining as our lives were combining. I stumbled while reading. At the wrong words. I was talking about the circle of art, but sort of ran them together. Yep, the circle o' fart. I am such a romantic!

We exchanged our vows and our rings and a kiss and were officially married. Our nieces made wonderful flower girls. We got to be in the presence of family. I was a little upset my own family couldn't make it, but it was for good reason. My parents are closer to us than we are to Jon's, so they get to see us more often.

Thank you Theresa and her family for a wonderful ceremony. It was an honor to have her officiate our wedding. To have our own family present was a blessing. And thank you to my husband for being such a wonderful man and a major part of my life. Without him, this day would have never happened.